How do you help someone that is in pain?

All of us have some sort of pain that we deal with on a daily basis. For some it is short-lived, but for others it is something they have been living with for a very long time. Some have physical pain, some emotional, some mental, and some spiritual pain. So, how do we get something beautiful out of all that nasty, messy, broken, ugly, pain caused by a physical injury, or from memories of some sort of abuse, whether physical, mental, or emotional, or perhaps even all of the above?

Some people will tell you that it is easy, just get over it and move on. Still others will refuse to believe that you are in as much physical pain as you are. They will consider you a hypochondriac, a faker.  Often, things are said either to the person in pain, or about them but where they can hear what is being said. Then you have your usual gossipers who love nothing more than to run around telling, and usually embellishing the story, about something you may have shared with them in confidence. This is exceptionally painful if the one you shared your confidence with was a fellow church member, someone you trusted to keep your conversation private.

So, what do you do when something like this happens to you, or to someone you love? What if it happens to someone you don’t know very well, but you have seen them at school, at church, at ladies meetings? Well, first of all, you are going to be shocked because by the look on their face you always thought they had it all together. They are always smiling and appear perfectly happy! How can they be so happy if they are really so miserable?

If you are the person who has been hurt or is currently dealing with pain of any kind, seek out someone to talk to. You may find that someone to be your spouse, a friend (though if you have been in any kind of pain for any amount of time, friends are few and far between), a fellow church member that you have no doubt you can trust, or your pastor.

There is nothing anywhere that says you have to tell them your whole story at the very start. Start slowly. Get to know the person you are talking to a bit and allow them to get to know you. Let them know that you feel you can trust them and that you have something you would like to talk to them about. If you have already been visiting for too long, make arrangements to get together again very soon, and stick to it! 

Whomever you have chosen to be your confidant, once you feel comfortable with them, let them know that you want to share something from your past in the hopes that sharing it will help you to let go of it, to get past it, and to move on. Let them know if you are seeking advice or just an ear to listen to you before you ever begin. Then, tell them your story. 

No matter what your story is, whether a story of ongoing physical pain and dependence on medications and other treatments just to be able to make it from one day to the next, or a story of abuse at some point in your life, or even possibly a story of being treated in what you feel was a very non-Christian-like manner at a previous church. Just share your story. Be sure there are tissues, plenty of them, close by! For some reason, once we begin telling our stories, no matter what the outcome has been, we will still cry about it. Sometimes the tears are joyful tears because we realize where we were and where we are now, and other times they may be tears of total sadness, fear, anger, because we don't see a way out of our situation. Tell as much detail of your story as you are comfortable with, perhaps letting your listener know that there are more details but you are just not ready to share them quite yet. 

As a listener, that is what you are to do, LISTEN! Never, ever interrupt when someone is telling you about something that has hurt them severely in the past. That could cause the to shut down and decide that you are not the person they want to share this with. When they pause in the story telling, wait before you say anything. Pray before saying a word!! Even a simple prayer said to yourself of "God, help me" can do amazing things. When the hurting person is finished with their story, you will know. They will either let you know that "that's it", or you will just be able to tell by their body language and the fact that they usually are in tears and not saying anything at all.

When it becomes your turn to speak, first and most importantly, let them know that you love them, that nothing they could say could cause you to not love them. Let them know that God loves them! If they are a Christian, help them see the way to get back on the right track and pray with them, sometimes several times in one visit! Remind them that they are continually a work in progress, clay in the Potter's hands. Remind them that we are all being molded and shaped into what God wants us to be each and every moment of every day. Remind them that sometimes that molding and shaping does hurt, but that it is highly likely God has given them this trial to go through in order to be the kind of witness He needs. Remind them that God knows what He is doing! He has had their lives planned since before the beginning of time! Pray with them. Let them know that God never leaves us nor forsakes us, that He is always there for us, to listen to us and to help us get over this hurdle or mountain we are climbing, but that we have to put all of our trust in Him. We have to have faith that He can and will take care of our situation. 

Never, ever tell them that God will take care of it for them and you will be praying for them and leave it at that! EVER!! For all they know, that was just your way of getting away from them, like so many in the past have done. First, pray with them and for them. Then offer to help them find the kind of help they need. Do they need money because they can't pay their light bill this month? Call your pastor and see what can be done. Call anyone you can think of and get this person some help. Be careful though. Don't give out their name unless they have told you that it is okay!! 

Maybe they have told you about something that happened to them many years ago and now they are dealing with depression, anxiety, possibly suicidal thoughts at one time, though not at the present time. Help them find some professional counseling, then offer to drive them to the counseling appointment if they don't have transportation. Even if they do have transportation, offer anyway! There is always the possibility that they do not have the funds for gas in their vehicle to go to the counselor, or they may just need the moral support. 

If the problem causing the pain is due to a problem they had at a previous church, help them to see that not all churches are the same. Not all people are the same. Explain to them the importance of being forgiving, whether to their former church as a whole, or just a certain member. If they are not currently attending a church, invite them to attend yours with you. Be prepared though when you do this for either it to take several invitations for them to actually finally take you up on your offer, or for them to be very uncomfortable when they do come to church with you. Do everything in your power to make them feel comfortable. Remember, this is all about making them feel comfortable and welcome. 

Most importantly, let the person who is hurting know that God is working on them, carrying them through whatever rough time they are having, even though it may not feel like it. Sometimes, when you are going through a difficult time, hurting for whatever reason, it can feel like everyone has left you alone, even God. Make sure that they know HE is always there. Pray with them as much as they will let you! Then continue to pray for them as often as you can. Explain to them about the potter and the clay, how we are the clay and God is the potter and he is molding and forming us into the person he wants us to be ultimately. God will frequently use our bad experiences to bring something out in us to use to help others. Help them to consider that possibility. But most importantly, just be there for them, and keep their confidence. Never, ever share ANY information they share with you without their permission first. Be the friend that they are crying out for so desperately. 

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 NIV

Matthew 11:28 NIV

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Psalm 119:28

New International Version (NIV)

28 My soul is weary with sorrow;
    strengthen me according to your word.

Walk the walk if you are going to talk the talk!

I know it's been a while since I've been around, but I am BACK! And I have so many things I want to say and share with as many of you as possible, so be ready for numerous posts!
Earlier today I posted to Facebook how I feel about how some people love to post the "Jesus loves you" type posts that have been shared thousands of times, I've done it myself! But, my point was that there are so many that seem to think just posting things like that, or claiming to be a Christian, makes everything okay for them, for their life. My post argued with that. Here is my post....

One thing that really just drives me crazy is to see posts from people about how much they love God, "I'm a Jesus girl", etc., yet they do nothing from day to day, in the real world to show that. Their treatment of others demonstrates something other than the love of Jesus. The way they live also. If you are going to proclaim to be a Child of the King, how about you do so in such a way that there is NEVER any doubt? Live a life that shows people that you are truly serving Jesus. Be so filled with the Holy Spirit that you don't have to repost all those things telling folks what a good Christian you are. PROVE IT!! LEAVE NO DOUBT!! Don't just talk the talk, walk the walk as well!! I AM a CHILD OF THE KING! I serve a true and living God! If you have any doubt about that, come see me and let's talk.

I think most people will understand what I was saying, but for those few who may not, let me explain it a little more in-depth. I am a daughter of the KING OF KINGS, the ONE and ONLY GOD. I have been saved through my belief in the life, death, and resurrection on the third day of MY LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST. I have been washed by the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ. I do attend church with my husband, and we have our usual seat that we sit in. My reason for attending church every opportunity that I can is not just so I can be counted as present and give the appearance of having it all together. I want to know more about Jesus! I want to know Him better, be drawn closer to Him. 
 My reasons for attending church are to be 'fed', refueled, etc. I know that every day,  every minute of every day, my 'tank' of love, Holy Spirit, Christian life has some removed from it for various reasons. Whether it may be talking with someone about our similar issues that we deal with daily, helping a family member understand what needs to be done in a situation they are going through, or just plain living day to day without screaming and yelling, getting aggravated at the smallest things, or not behaving in a Christ-like manner. I have to have my tank refilled on a regular basis so that I can share the love of Christ that is within me. I need to ask the Holy Spirit to refill every molecule of my body each and every day, to the point of overflowing, so that some may splash out on others that I come in contact with.
If you are just playing the part of what you think a Christian should be, maybe you need to go back to the instruction book, aka THE HOLY BIBLE, and read what is expected of you in all situations. God plainly tells us what we are to do, how we are to behave, what our language is supposed to be like, how we are to treat others, and the fact that we are to share the Gospel of the Good News of Jesus Christ with everyone we come into contact with. We are also not to be hypocritical, living one way on Saturday night and then another on Sunday morning. 
I know from personal experience how easy it is to profess to be a Christian, but not act like one. Do you give of yourself to others, without complaining about it? Do you give to the church as you are instructed to do, with a cheerful heart or are you reluctant to give more than $20 because you don't think you will have enough to make it until payday? Do you bow your head in church as if you are praying, yet the only time you may say a prayer is if you find yourself in a crisis of some sort? Are you one that attends church regularly, but you never participate in any of the extra activities the church may have, much less volunteer to help! Do you ever tell anyone else about how they can come to know Jesus Christ and receive the gift of salvation He has for each of us?
I'm guessing there are quite a few 'no' answers to those questions. So, what do we do about it? Well, it's a fairly easy fix, but, it is also highly likely that there will be some consequences, or hurdles to leap. 
First you have to PRAY. When you pray, don't just say some rehearsed words that you have heard others say when they prayed at church. Your prayers, each and every one of them, needs to come from your heart! Keep in mind, your prayers are your conversations with God, the creator of the universe, the ONE who has known all about you since before you were born. God knew all about you even before He created the universe! God knows how many hairs are on your head, today, tomorrow, and every day! He already knows how long you will be on this earth. God, our heavenly Father, knows the day, time, and how you will leave this earth! And once you leave this earth, where will you go? Heaven you say? Are you sure? Are you absolutely, 100+% positive? How do you know this?
What have you done to deserve the opportunity to go to heaven and be with Jesus? You say you have been a good person? That's not it. You say you go to church at Christmas, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and maybe another time or two in there just for good measure. Nope, not it either. So, you read your Bible? Good to know, but that won't get you through those pearly gates either! So, what is it going to take for you to KNOW, without a doubt, that you will spend eternity with the One who created you? To spend eternity with the One who loves you, even though you continue to mess up, day after day? How can you be positive that you can go to be with Jesus upon your death, or at the time of the rapture, if you are still living?
It's not as difficult as we try to make it. Do you believe that Jesus is the son of a virgin named Mary, that He is GOD'S son? Do you believe that Jesus walked the earth, was arrested for a crime He did not commit, beaten savagely, nailed to a cross between two thieves, as if He were a thief Himself. Do you believe that Jesus died on that cross after pleading with His, and our, Heavenly Father to "forgive them for they know not what they do"? Do you believe Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb and arose from that tomb on the third day? Do you believe that the ONLY reason Jesus did all this, that He went through all of that pain, was that He loves us, you and me, and everyone, so very much that He agreed to take all of our sins, ALL OF OUR SINS, even those you have not committed yet, upon Himself, so that we might have the opportunity to live with Him in heaven for all eternity? Do you believe that the only reason a sinless man, a man named Jesus, was so brutally murdered, was to cover all of our sins by His blood?
If you truly believe all of that, but have never professed it publicly, find a pastor that you feel comfortable with, one who leads a church that believes in teaching the true Gospel of Jesus, and talk with Him. 
"For God so love the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that none should perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

Now, I hope you will excuse me because I want to go and study about my wonderful Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I want to learn about Him more and more each day. I pray that you do as well. 
I will have more to say in the next few days about these posts that could be considered hypocritical. I hope you return for more!

RAIN DOWN REVIVAL *** repost from Living Proof Ministries Blog

Repost from Living Proof Ministries Blog

Rain Down Revival

July 2nd, 2013 Beth

Tags: Posted in Uncategorized

Words blazed in my soul this morning with such force that I had to scramble to my feet to find paper. I’d prayed a few minutes earlier out on my front porch for true revival: for such a groundswell of souls saved that we’d have no earthly explanation, and for believers to be flooded by the Holy Spirit in such a way that our souls would be purified with a holy, selfless, unstoppable fervor. I have prayed those kinds of things before but this time I called upon the Lord with my whole heart to rip away this ceiling that seems to be over our heads. The Holy Spirit is moving with breathtaking force in parts of the world and in segments of the church. Why not among all of us?? And why not now? We love Him, too!

So many of our pastors, leaders, evangelists, and teachers are crying out for it. We see glimpses of it. We feel it pressing on the walls of many of our churches. The paint is beginning to crack. We sense a change coming. The roof shifting. We know the sun of righteousness is rising on a different kind of day and the horizon beaming with a new shade of color on young and old, on rich and poor. On all who would let Him lift their chins despite their sins, for our redemption draws near. I feel the stirring of a fresh work of the Holy Spirit in my own congregation and sense that He’s ushering us step-by-step and person-by-person and Sunday-by-Sunday to a place of open-armed willingness for whatever He would give us. For many of us who have felt the breezes of revival stirring, we can’t often define how the Holy Spirit is working or explain the difference between one gathering and the next. All we know is that there are times when we are left to say, “Only God could do that.” We taste it. It’s on the tip of our tongues but our throats are still parched.  Our voices may be hoarse and our volume weak but, at the sound of His yes, the mute would find speech.

I cried out this morning for Him to remove the obstacles that hold us at bay on the damp edges of a mighty torrent of revival when, before us, is the deep. We have seen drops of rain but, if we’re willing to be honest, most of us know that we have not yet seen what the living Lord Jesus Christ is capable of doing when He has a mind to pour His Spirit out on millions and wreak the holy havoc of true revival with innumerable souls. We have blamed our government and every secular institution possible when revival has ever remained a matter between God and His own people in the pages of Scripture. They are not our problem. We point fingers at our pastors when many of them have nearly broken their backs trying to drag us to revival. We hold worship leaders responsible for our own small worship and say that it must be the songs.

My heart burns with a sense that part of this ceiling over our heads is our demand that God must bring awakening and revival within our means, keep our rules, and respect our boundaries. If Christ is to do what He longs to do, we must relinquish all our expectations and formulas for revival. Lest we think we can’t leash a work He’s willing to perform, the words of Matthew 13:58 and Mark 6:5-6 won’t peel off the gospel page. We keep getting together and rehearsing for a revival He’s not yet fully attending. Why?? Why does He wait?

I think one reason is that we are afraid for Him to do whatever it would take. We are scared of the uncertainty of revival. We don’t trust God with the work of His own Spirit. He might embarrass us. Or make us change our minds. God won’t work contrary to His Word but many of us must admit that it is not His Word we are worried about Him working contrary to. We are worried about Him working contrary to our tastes. We are worried that He will not use our methods. I said we. I have done the same thing. I want Him to work in a way that makes me feel comfortable. But maybe a true outbreak of revival is not comfortable. I don’t know. I can’t say I’ve ever seen what I believe God may want to do in our day. Meanwhile, numerous gatherings of believers dwindle and die or rust for the sake of routine. Generations are falling away as revival clings to our doorposts. It’s there. It’s close. But why won’t it come on in? We feel it. We hunger for it. Why does it delay? Perhaps there are many reasons why revival waits and we could write more blog articles and list the possible hindrances and deliberate over them and mull over them and debate them and exert more and more energy while we have less and less time.

Or maybe we could say today,

Lord, if Your time is now – and it’s the only time countless millions have – remove the obstacles, whatever they are. Shove them out of the way and COME, Lord Jesus, with a torrential downpour of Your Holy Spirit.

I’m just looking for anyone out there who would be willing to echo a prayer something like this one. I bring it to you in humility, lacking much, wanting much. I do not wish to put words on any tongue detached from a heart. Vocabulary is meaningless without volition. If this is not you and if these sins are not yours and these aches find no place in your soul, you are not who I’m talking to. But this is me and I wondered if it might be anyone else, for where two or three are gathered in His Name, crying out for a cracked-open heaven, that ceiling that we feel shifting over our heads could shatter to our feet. I’m tired of giving God an inch and expecting a mile. I want to go with Him wherever He’s going.

Most glorious all-powerful, merciful God,

Your Son died for more than these. We thank You for what You’ve already done but we beg You to do infinitely more. Look upon this ailing planet, pulsing with the hopeless, helpless, the hiding and the dying. You have willed that people would not die in their sins but be saved and redeemed through Your Son, Jesus Christ. You promised that the Cross was big enough for us all, with stakes pointed northward, southward, eastward, westward, reaching everlasting arms to the ends of the earth. We know what Your Word says You can do and we confess to You that many of us have not yet seen it with our eyes but we feel it stirring in our souls. Hosanna, Lord! Save now!

We who are willing confess to you our sinful arrogance. We have prescribed to You by what means You, the solitary Healer, should heal souls and You have refused to sign Your Name to our prescriptions. We say to You this day, write Your Name across our sky and bring revival! Save by whatever means brings You glory. Bring it any way You like but bring it, Lord. We free You from using our methods. We free You from using our denominational names. We free You from using our buildings though we welcome You to them. We free You even from using us, though we cast ourselves before You at Your complete disposal and beg that You would. Use none of us. Use all of us. Use whatever people and whatever means honors You most but do it, Lord. Please do it!

We confess to You our appalling narcissism in asking You to mirror us. We confess to You our over-sophistication and snobbery. We confess to You that we are terrified of Your Holy Spirit. We confess our pathetic arrogance for having forbidden signs and wonders when there could be no greater sign and wonder than a tidal wave of salvation rolling on our dry banks. Oh, Jesus, that we would not leave You to marvel that You could do so few miracles among us because of our unbelief.

We repent this day for not trusting You with what revival should look like. We repent this day from prioritizing our dignity over Your downpour. We confess to You that we have torn pages from our Bibles and handed them back to You and demanded that You work through what was left. We confess to You this day that the tent pegs of Scripture are vastly wider than our imaginations and our expectations.

Lord, if souls are saved by the thousands of thousands and millions of millions, we pledge to You this day that we will not, in our sectarianism, pick apart the process and reason how it was not legitimate. We are ready even if it’s messy. Even if, atop the beautiful feet carrying the good news, are bruised and broken bodies of willing evangelists.

Open Heaven. Rain down, Holy Spirit. We repent for having asked You to respect our boundaries. We bow now to Your boundless Spirit and make room over our lowered heads for You to fall upon us with power and might and a firestorm of Your great affection. You have loved us so. You have loved us well. Scar our hearts with Your Cross and love through us, Lord. Oh, Holy Spirit of the Living Christ, come without limit. We have known You were able but begged You to be willing. All the while, we have been disabled because we have been unwilling.

To what conceivable degree we could have held them in our hands, we turn the reins of revival back over to the Rider who is Faithful and True and we plead that You would not let them rest on the neck of that great horse but that You’d bid him run.

Whatever, Lord. Do what You want but do it now. Do it here. You have no peer. Make Your name glorious. Save now. We avail ourselves.

O God, I avail myself.

In the holy name of Christ our King. Amen.

Savior, Savior, Hear my humble cry;

While on others Thou art calling, do not pass me by.

What kind of church member are you?

I Am a Church Member

by Thom S. Rainer on Friday, April 26, 2013

This article is an excerpt adapted from I Am a Church Member by Thom S. Rainer.

---

When Michael and Liam began meeting for Monday morning breakfast at 6 a.m. more than five months ago, they originally thought it would be a one-time event. They met in a couples' Bible study group in their church. For many reasons, they hit it off and were becoming good friends. The two men enjoyed their time together so much that the one-time event became a weekly event.
Still, Michael was caught off guard on that particular Monday morning. Liam loved the poached eggs in the little restaurant; it was his regular order. But on this Monday morning, he hadn't touched them. He was barely sipping his coffee.
Liam didn't take long to get to the point. "Michael," he began, "Lana and I have decided to leave the church." The pause seemed to last minutes. Neither of the men knew who should speak next. Michael took the initiative and spoke softly yet deliberately. "You want to tell me about it?" Michael inquired. He honestly didn't know if Liam wanted to say any more about it. His friend seemed resolute. Nevertheless, Liam began to explain his feelings and decision.
"Lana and I went to the church to learn deep truths about the Bible," Liam offered. "But Pastor Robert is just not feeding us. We're not getting anything out of his messages. Sitting in the service on Sunday morning is a waste of our time."
Michael didn't respond but could tell that Liam had more to say.
"There are several great people in the church," Liam continued. "You and Karen are the best, and there are a few more like you." He paused and his facial expression became even more serious. "But, honestly, Michael, our church is full of hypocrites. Did you hear Jim at the kids' basketball game? He embarrassed me the way he was calling out the refs. What kind of testimony is that for a Christian? And of course, everyone knows about Neal. He was supposedly this pillar of the church, and we found out he's been cheating on his wife for more than a year. What kind of church is this with these kinds of people?"
Liam was angry but controlled as he continued to vent. "Look, Pastor Robert acts like he cares for us, but I'm not sure he does. I told him that Lana's dad was in the hospital for hernia surgery, and he never visited him."
Michael knew that Lana's father was not a church member, and he lived 50 miles away. He also knew that Pastor Robert called him and prayed with him. But he also knew that any rebuttal would not be timely at the moment. Michael held his tongue.
It seemed that Liam's mild rant was winding down. Liam seemed exhausted, ready to bring the conversation to a close. He did, however, offer a few pointed comments and two insightful questions.
"Michael," Liam began softly. "I really like you and Karen and your kids. All of you are a class act." He paused briefly. "But you seem enthused about the church. You keep serving and contributing. Don't get me wrong, but I wonder at times if you are blind to all the problems in the church."
Then Liam offered a closing that spoke more than he realized. "We are two different types of church members," he stated. "Why is that? Why do we have such different perspectives?"

The difference

Nine out of 10 churches in America are declining or growing at a slower pace than that of their communities. Simply stated, churches are losing ground in their own backyards.
Another way of looking at it is generationally. About two-thirds of the Builder generation, those born before 1946, are Christians. However, only 15 percent of Millennials, those born between 1980 and 2000, are Christians. Millennials are the largest generation in America's history with almost 80 million members.
And we have all but lost that generation.
We can blame it on the secular culture. And we often do.
We can blame on the godless politics of our nation. We do that as well.
We can even blame it on the churches, the hypocritical members, and the uncaring pastors. Lots of Christians do that.
I'm proposing that we who are church members need to look in the mirror. I'm suggesting that congregations across America are weak because many of us church members have lost the biblical understanding of what it means to be a part of the body of Christ.
We join our churches expecting others to serve us, to feed us, and to care for us.
We don't like the hypocrites in the church, but we fail to see our own hypocrisies.
God didn't give us local churches to become country clubs where membership means we have privileges and perks.
He placed us in churches to serve, to care for others, to pray for leaders, to learn, to teach, to give, and, in some cases, to die for the sake of the gospel.
Many churches are weak because we have members who have turned the meaning of membership upside down. It's time to get it right. It's time to become church members as God intended. It's time to give instead of being entitled.

A new path

Though it's a small step, I'm suggesting that church members consider a new path. There are six steps we should carefully and prayerfully take. Let's consider each of these steps to be the type of church member God called us to be.

First, let's note the metaphor of membership.

It's not membership as in a civic organization or a country club. It's the kind of membership given to us in 1 Corinthians 12:27, "Now you are the body of Christ and individual members of it." Because I'm a member of the body of Christ, I must be a functioning member, whether I'm an "eye," an "ear," or a "hand." As a functioning member, I will give. I will serve. I will minister. I will evangelize. I will study. I will seek to be a blessing to others.

Second, I will strive to be a source of unity in the church.

I know there are no perfect pastors, staff, or other church members. But I'm not perfect either. I won't be a source of gossip or dissension. One of the greatest contributions I can make is to do all I can in God's power to help keep the church in unity for the sake of the gospel.

Third, I will not let my church be about my preferences and desires; that's self-serving.

I'm in this church to serve others and to serve Christ. My Savior went to the cross for me. I can deal with any inconveniences and matters that aren't my preference or style.

Fourth, I will pray for my pastor every day. His work is never-ending.

His days are filled with constant demands for his time, with the need to prepare sermons, with those who are rejoicing in births, with those who are traveling through the valley of the shadow of death, with critics, with the hurts and hopes of others, and with the need to be a husband and a father. My pastor cannot serve our church in his own power.

Fifth, I will lead my family to be good members of this church as well.

We will pray together for our church. We will worship together in our church. We will serve together in our church. And we will ask Christ to help us fall deeper in love with this church because He gave His life for her.
This article is an excerpt adapted from I Am a Church Member by Thom S. Rainer.